Please don’t do that Shit in front of Me

My post usually has a photo header but I couldn’t think of anything that would suit. Read on and find out why.

Just thought I might give a few pointers on stuff guys do that women are quasi or fully horrified by. These things aren’t relationship deal breakers or anything too important I’m lying she may leave you but there will be a disgusted look on your girlfriend/wife’s face and you may trigger her fight/flight response.

There comes a time in every relationship where niceties fly out the window and a certain level of relaxation seeps in to a relationship giving life to what I like to call a man’s “yuck factor”. The following go under the heading “please don’t do that shit in front of me”.

1. Zit or Blackhead Removal

I can’t I just really can’t. Yes it has to be done, yes we know you love it but no. The perfect time for this is after a hot shower when your pores are open and the gunk has softened, do it then – NOT IN FRONT OF ME …and hell no I wont do your back!. I am not one of those people who salivates at the sight of a big juicy blackhead and If your girl is, marry her now.

2. Gulping  drinks while Eating

I don’t know any woman who enjoys that sound. Unless you have just been rescued from a ten-day ordeal, stranded in the Sahara desert, please don’t do it in front of a woman. When I hear this sound, all I’m thinking is “you can’t possibly be that thirsty after every mouth-full” and the cray cray OCD part of me actually thinks you are impulsive and lack discipline because I measure out my drink to last through the meal (a little psycho, I know but I cant’ help it). Guys who do this usually finish their drink way before their meal and try to  drink their girlfriend’s, I don’t need to tell you what I think about that – stop yourself.

3. Toenail Clipping

Think of a hot sensual, sexy woman with lingerie on….is she clipping her toe nails? self-explanatory, moving on.

4. Farting

How do I put this, you will never be more unattractive to a woman than when you pose, lift one leg up and let one rip. Unless I am the type of woman who enjoys farts/farting in front of her man, please refrain. I totally understand a runaway but to take glee from expelling gas that has been inside your body hanging around poo in front of the woman you make love to is seriously not sexy.

5. Hocking one back and Spitting

Do you have pneumonia? no? then why are you polluting the environment and tasting your own snot, not to mention the finished product gleaming on the side-walk waiting for some poor sod to come walking past and getting your booger juice on their shoe? Grab a tissue and blow your nose, it’s that simple.

6. Package Adjusting

Women do understand that adjustments to male genitalia have to be made but in public?, In front of me? I  compare this to pulling your underwear out of your butt and almost everyone tries not to do that in public.

These may or may not apply to you or your  relationship but before you judge me on my judgmental attitude I will remind you that no man does these things when they first meet a girl and there is a good reason, you want to be seen in an attractive light. Why would this reasoning change years later? be the best version of you is what I’m saying.

DISCLAIMER: just in case my boyfriend reads this post,

“The disgusting habits depicted in this post are observations of male behavior accumulated by myself over 40 yrs. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

What do you find disgusting?

5 thoughts on “Please don’t do that Shit in front of Me”

    1. Thanks for your comment Sara, yes these are issues but I also think that many women don’t discuss these things with their partners until they are issues and men really aren’t as aware of them as we are, it would be easier if women came with a manual lol!. Thanks for following the blog,enjoying post and leaving a comment.

      Liked by 1 person

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