Whats on your Internet Dating Profile Mr?

So I’ve checked out men’s internet dating profiles with this post in mind for a while now. It all started a while back when I had the opportunity to help a girlfriend set up her profile on a popular dating site. what I discovered while looking for a potential man for her, is that men don’t quite get what attracts women to their profile.

Men are thinking like men and while their profiles are great, for finding a mate, a few things stand out that aren’t sending the message they think.

Here are some examples:

1. The Extreme Sports/gym Junkie

We love that you have an interest in being active and fit, but when your profile reads snow boarder, gym junkie, hiker, base jumper and surfer, and most of your photos reflect this, a woman is thinking “will I have to be participating in this exhausting, extreme schedule?” or “will I receive the time a relationship requires?”. Unless a woman is equally active and has the same lifestyle, it’s a slight turn off. I do realise that men are looking for a woman with the same interests, but across the board what I noticed is that a lot of men seem to have this type of profile or choose to focus on this to look interesting, you can’t all be Bear Grylls.

2. The Perennial Back Packer

Travelling and being worldly will make you fascinating but when it seems like you have just arrived and are getting ready to leave again, it looks like you aren’t quite ready to commit to a serious relationship or don’t have a view to settling down anywhere. This is particularly strange-looking when you are over 30. Most women are looking for love and a compatible partner not a long distance relationship.

3. The Party Animal 

It’s fun to go out and unwind but really? what is with all the photos with an alcoholic beverage in hand and your fifty friends at the pub?. It maybe a snapshot of a moment in time or it may be a boys club but since it’s on your dating profile, its being pondered upon.

4. The Business Man

Work function photos and focus on your career is great to include, just make sure it’s not the predominant theme on your profile. You don’t want to look like a workaholic, crazy networker, that’s what LinkedIn is for!

5. The Narcissist

Photos of naked torsos, flexing, glamor shots and heaven forbid “dickshots”…not as hot as you think. Leave something to the imagination! Confidence is attractive but douche-baggery is not… We may be partial to a fitted t-shirt or shirt though, Nice!

6. The Complainer

Woman bashing is never a good idea, you are trying to find a lady, do you even like girls? why rant about how women are bitches and have done you wrong? Yes I did see this on a few profiles, you will look like a resentful whiner.

7. Crap Photos

The secret to great profile photos is quality (I’m talking pixels and appearance) and being clear as to which person you actually are in the photo. You and 5 other guys in the photo= Unclear. The photos should be close up and/or a full body shots where you don’t look like a spec on the horizon. Don’t forget to look your spunky best.

4 to 5 photos is a good number to give a clear idea of what you actually look like.

Leave out the sunglasses, you may think you look like Tom Cruise in Top Gun with your Aviators, we can’t see your beautiful eyes.

8. That Guy

The one who digs up a photo with his ex and actually puts it on his dating profile or worse still cuts his still evident ex off at the shoulder or head. “Please”, we all have phones with cameras, women don’t need to be unimpressed with the lack of effort and tact.

9. The Photo of you 5-10 years ago

Do you really think we won’t notice the differences when we finally meet up with you in person? be honest you are trying to meet a lady who will like you for what you are now and I firmly believe that there is somebody for everybody.

10. The Generic Profile

Try to write your profile as you would if you were chatting to a woman, sparse profiles with not much to say and no photos will not get a second look, think about it, a woman is looking to see if she will date you and if there is nothing to see, it will seem as if you didn’t make an effort or just you aren’t that interesting.

11. The Bootycall/Hook up Guy

Most people want to find a potential partner with similar interests and sign up to date. If you are just wanting to hook up, have sex or just make friends, don’t waste people’s time. There are specific websites for that.

12. Date within your age Range

At the risk of offending a few of you, I’m gonna go there. A thirty-five to sixty year old man listing his preferred age range from 18-25…a bit strange. A ten year age gap or more is a risk, this may also be why you are single. Do you want to look superficial, scared of a woman your own age or like you are having a mid-life crisis?. The key to finding a compatible partner is to find someone with similar interests who is at the stage you are in life. And dammit women your age these days are looking fine!

Do mention family, hobby’s (in moderation) job (in moderation and the fact that you like to socialise (in moderation), tell us how you love your friends and If you have kids, don’t be shy to show you are a family guy too!

Offer tidbits about your personality and be open friendly, light-hearted and honest. Humor is very attractive so if you are a funny guy, let that shine through!

Talking about yourself might be awkward, so if you are having trouble, enlist a close female friend who can tell you how great you are and give you a better perspective of what to include and how a woman would react to it.

Lastly, highlight great personality traits such as humor, chivalry, kindness and reliability. All a woman is really looking for, a well-rounded guy that isn’t too much of this or too much of that just be your self, it’s always enough.

 

 

Photo by dennis crowley CC BY 2.0

The “look”

Every woman knows the look that can be confused for no other

Unmistakable in a man’s face telling her she is his favorite, most adored human

In it she can see herself reflected in the windows to his heart.

That reflection is admiration, love, passion, surety. This is where he wants to be.

A delightful unexpected jolt , or born from a curious ember

Gifted briefly or enduring through the decades

The look is everything, encompassing all unspoken words and feelings

She recognises the instant it dies, she is no longer the reason for his smile

Left to suffer the pain of it’s banishment,                         Leaving only a memory tattooed on her soul

 

How will you look at your girl tonight?

 

Photo by Tinou Bao “The Look of Love” CC BY 2.0

Please don’t do that Shit in front of Me

My post usually has a photo header but I couldn’t think of anything that would suit. Read on and find out why.

Just thought I might give a few pointers on stuff guys do that women are quasi or fully horrified by. These things aren’t relationship deal breakers or anything too important I’m lying she may leave you but there will be a disgusted look on your girlfriend/wife’s face and you may trigger her fight/flight response.

There comes a time in every relationship where niceties fly out the window and a certain level of relaxation seeps in to a relationship giving life to what I like to call a man’s “yuck factor”. The following go under the heading “please don’t do that shit in front of me”.

1. Zit or Blackhead Removal

I can’t I just really can’t. Yes it has to be done, yes we know you love it but no. The perfect time for this is after a hot shower when your pores are open and the gunk has softened, do it then – NOT IN FRONT OF ME …and hell no I wont do your back!. I am not one of those people who salivates at the sight of a big juicy blackhead and If your girl is, marry her now.

2. Gulping  drinks while Eating

I don’t know any woman who enjoys that sound. Unless you have just been rescued from a ten-day ordeal, stranded in the Sahara desert, please don’t do it in front of a woman. When I hear this sound, all I’m thinking is “you can’t possibly be that thirsty after every mouth-full” and the cray cray OCD part of me actually thinks you are impulsive and lack discipline because I measure out my drink to last through the meal (a little psycho, I know but I cant’ help it). Guys who do this usually finish their drink way before their meal and try to  drink their girlfriend’s, I don’t need to tell you what I think about that – stop yourself.

3. Toenail Clipping

Think of a hot sensual, sexy woman with lingerie on….is she clipping her toe nails? self-explanatory, moving on.

4. Farting

How do I put this, you will never be more unattractive to a woman than when you pose, lift one leg up and let one rip. Unless I am the type of woman who enjoys farts/farting in front of her man, please refrain. I totally understand a runaway but to take glee from expelling gas that has been inside your body hanging around poo in front of the woman you make love to is seriously not sexy.

5. Hocking one back and Spitting

Do you have pneumonia? no? then why are you polluting the environment and tasting your own snot, not to mention the finished product gleaming on the side-walk waiting for some poor sod to come walking past and getting your booger juice on their shoe? Grab a tissue and blow your nose, it’s that simple.

6. Package Adjusting

Women do understand that adjustments to male genitalia have to be made but in public?, In front of me? I  compare this to pulling your underwear out of your butt and almost everyone tries not to do that in public.

These may or may not apply to you or your  relationship but before you judge me on my judgmental attitude I will remind you that no man does these things when they first meet a girl and there is a good reason, you want to be seen in an attractive light. Why would this reasoning change years later? be the best version of you is what I’m saying.

DISCLAIMER: just in case my boyfriend reads this post,

“The disgusting habits depicted in this post are observations of male behavior accumulated by myself over 40 yrs. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

What do you find disgusting?