Today’s woman is a little more complicated than yesterday’s, all the way back to Victorian times women had a different role in society and the man they wanted to be with was closely tied to the social and economic position they aspired to. Women seldom worked apart from home duties but in the middle to higher classes, they were educated to a certain extent. Today’s woman differs enormously and those stereotypes don’t apply now. Women don’t need a man for wealth or status, although there are exceptions to the rule, cue our gold-digger sisters who aren’t averse to using their feminine wiles to catch a wealthy, powerful guy who in all fairness, may want a trophy wife.
A “gentleman” was a highly sought after partner back in the day. The definition of a gentleman then was a man of noble birth, sometimes deemed so by occupation, independently wealthy with a strict moral code of values and conduct. He was chivalrous with impeccable manners.
My definition of a modern gentleman today would be a man with values, nice manners and a splash of chivalry thrown in, the material aspect, not so important. As much as women today want to be modern, career oriented, not stereotyped and treated equally, I don’t know the first woman who would complain about being wined, dined, given flowers, complimented etc… If you are a fairly decent guy with socially acceptable manners you are two-thirds of the way to being a modern gentleman so why not go the extra mile and throw in that chivalry? After our teens and fair share of bad boys and frog kissing we eventually end up yearning for a “modern gentleman”. Thereby lays much of the confusion for men these days. Will she be offended if I open her door or not open her door, do I pay or not?
Believe me women who are looking for a decent guys will feel flattered and impressed by gentlemanly behavior and you will be ahead of the game and set yourself apart from the competition who, these days, leave a lot to be desired. You can’t imagine how many times I’ve heard “all the good ones are taken” or “there’s no one decent out there” from girlfriends or my sisters (and not to throw around credentials but I have 4 sisters, I know what I’m talking about).
However, there is a catch boys… there are a couple of rules
* Be observant and be genuine.
*Leave the “cheesiness” (and for some of you the creepiness) at home.
Some of the things I’m going to suggest in this blog are just general gentlemanly behavior and others specific things that individual women may or may not like. Don’t panic! When they come up, I will suggest how to tell if she does or doesn’t and how to handle. And don’t be turned off thinking todays girls won’t like it, just don’t exaggerate, or act insincere. My suggestions are not designed for “players”. The idea is to gain and keep a lady’s attention because you genuinely like her.
What do you think? leave a comment.