I’m a people watcher and I’ve watched you… try and stumble (not due to alcohol consumption), I’ve watched you try and stumble (due to alcohol consumption), agonize momentarily over a plan of attack, sweat over its imminent execution and set off on a myriad of attempts to get a girls attention.
1.Lord of the Dance you dance enthusiastically up behind her in, what you feel, a damn sexy way, fuelled by liquid courage only to be left standing alone as she realizes what you are doing. This move puts you immediately in the douchebag category and the usual reaction will be her moving away. Try saying hi, compliment her and ask her to dance instead. What’s the worst she can say, no thanks? If she is with a friend, she will not want to leave her friend alone so you’ll need a wingman but the best approach is to avoid girls in pairs, try groups of three, that way her friends will entertain each other and you have a chance.
2.Handsyman you go over to ask for a dance, she accepts and then you turn into an octopus. I have left men standing on the dance floor for this. If you are lucky enough to get a yes, show respect. There are steps to courting, yes even in a nightclub, and believe me if she lets you touch her inappropriately, you deserve each other and you’re getting less than you think. Definitely not a long-term prospect or approach!
3.Did it Hurt when you Fell cause you look like an angel?… the cheesy one liner, the fail. Before you know it her whole group knows about you and you’ve lost any hope with oh about 10 girls in the place. Unfortunately this has become such a ridiculed stereotype that unless you look like a god or present it humorously with unbelievable wit, it will fail. Say hello, compliment her genuinely e.g. comment on her clothes, earrings or smile and ask her if you can buy her a drink.
4.Ignoring the Hurt when you Fell after failing said one liner with girl # 1, trying to pick up her friend. As if any self-respecting girl would ever consider you after being chosen second! Need I say more about this? Tacky, Tacky, Tacky!
5.Up, Up and Away the guy that manages to get to conversation level and then starts bragging, exaggerating and talking himself up. Human nature is such that most people like talking about themselves to a degree but that shouldn’t be you right now so when talking to a woman ask questions and listen, women, naturally, are a little chattier.
6.Road Romeo whilst doing research for this blog I was fascinated to hear about the guy who tries to pick you up at the lights! And going through my mind files, I once had a truckie wave his mobile number out of the window in the vain hope that I would give him a call. “Don’t hold your breath buddy”. This one is beyond belief and no woman would really give her number at the lights to a complete stranger. If you follow her she will call the police, Stop yourself.
7. You’re Smashed If you noticed, quite a few of the above are exacerbated by excessive alcohol. Women don’t like men who are sloppy drunk, pushy or aggressive. Slightly tipsy in fun mode is ok but no one will take you seriously if you are ugly drunk and more importantly you won’t enjoy the experience if you can’t remember it or regret your actions later. Try to be natural, complimentary and polite as women respond to this.
Also guys, reconcile yourself with rejection and let it slide off. This really is a game of numbers, you have to “be in it to win it” so you can’t take rejection to heart. There is nothing worse than seeing a guy slink off angry and bitter after a “no” so what she said no, and..???. Just say “no worries have a great night” and wink as you walk away as if your request was a want not a need. Moving on unless she’s the only woman left in the universe. You will not appeal to every woman you set your eyes on, just as they all won’t appeal to you, this is a fact of life. The good news is that when you do, and the attraction goes both ways it will be exciting and rewarding.
Have you seen any men make mistakes you’d like to share? I’d love to hear about it.