So I’ve checked out men’s internet dating profiles with this post in mind for a while now. It all started a while back when I had the opportunity to help a girlfriend set up her profile on a popular dating site. what I discovered while looking for a potential man for her, is that men don’t quite get what attracts women to their profile.
Men are thinking like men and while their profiles are great, for finding a mate, a few things stand out that aren’t sending the message they think.
Here are some examples:
1. The Extreme Sports/gym Junkie
We love that you have an interest in being active and fit, but when your profile reads snow boarder, gym junkie, hiker, base jumper and surfer, and most of your photos reflect this, a woman is thinking “will I have to be participating in this exhausting, extreme schedule?” or “will I receive the time a relationship requires?”. Unless a woman is equally active and has the same lifestyle, it’s a slight turn off. I do realise that men are looking for a woman with the same interests, but across the board what I noticed is that a lot of men seem to have this type of profile or choose to focus on this to look interesting, you can’t all be Bear Grylls.
2. The Perennial Back Packer
Travelling and being worldly will make you fascinating but when it seems like you have just arrived and are getting ready to leave again, it looks like you aren’t quite ready to commit to a serious relationship or don’t have a view to settling down anywhere. This is particularly strange-looking when you are over 30. Most women are looking for love and a compatible partner not a long distance relationship.
3. The Party Animal
It’s fun to go out and unwind but really? what is with all the photos with an alcoholic beverage in hand and your fifty friends at the pub?. It maybe a snapshot of a moment in time or it may be a boys club but since it’s on your dating profile, its being pondered upon.
4. The Business Man
Work function photos and focus on your career is great to include, just make sure it’s not the predominant theme on your profile. You don’t want to look like a workaholic, crazy networker, that’s what LinkedIn is for!
5. The Narcissist
Photos of naked torsos, flexing, glamor shots and heaven forbid “dickshots”…not as hot as you think. Leave something to the imagination! Confidence is attractive but douche-baggery is not… We may be partial to a fitted t-shirt or shirt though, Nice!
6. The Complainer
Woman bashing is never a good idea, you are trying to find a lady, do you even like girls? why rant about how women are bitches and have done you wrong? Yes I did see this on a few profiles, you will look like a resentful whiner.
7. Crap Photos
The secret to great profile photos is quality (I’m talking pixels and appearance) and being clear as to which person you actually are in the photo. You and 5 other guys in the photo= Unclear. The photos should be close up and/or a full body shots where you don’t look like a spec on the horizon. Don’t forget to look your spunky best.
4 to 5 photos is a good number to give a clear idea of what you actually look like.
Leave out the sunglasses, you may think you look like Tom Cruise in Top Gun with your Aviators, we can’t see your beautiful eyes.
8. That Guy
The one who digs up a photo with his ex and actually puts it on his dating profile or worse still cuts his still evident ex off at the shoulder or head. “Please”, we all have phones with cameras, women don’t need to be unimpressed with the lack of effort and tact.
9. The Photo of you 5-10 years ago
Do you really think we won’t notice the differences when we finally meet up with you in person? be honest you are trying to meet a lady who will like you for what you are now and I firmly believe that there is somebody for everybody.
10. The Generic Profile
Try to write your profile as you would if you were chatting to a woman, sparse profiles with not much to say and no photos will not get a second look, think about it, a woman is looking to see if she will date you and if there is nothing to see, it will seem as if you didn’t make an effort or just you aren’t that interesting.
11. The Bootycall/Hook up Guy
Most people want to find a potential partner with similar interests and sign up to date. If you are just wanting to hook up, have sex or just make friends, don’t waste people’s time. There are specific websites for that.
12. Date within your age Range
At the risk of offending a few of you, I’m gonna go there. A thirty-five to sixty year old man listing his preferred age range from 18-25…a bit strange. A ten year age gap or more is a risk, this may also be why you are single. Do you want to look superficial, scared of a woman your own age or like you are having a mid-life crisis?. The key to finding a compatible partner is to find someone with similar interests who is at the stage you are in life. And dammit women your age these days are looking fine!
Do mention family, hobby’s (in moderation) job (in moderation and the fact that you like to socialise (in moderation), tell us how you love your friends and If you have kids, don’t be shy to show you are a family guy too!
Offer tidbits about your personality and be open friendly, light-hearted and honest. Humor is very attractive so if you are a funny guy, let that shine through!
Talking about yourself might be awkward, so if you are having trouble, enlist a close female friend who can tell you how great you are and give you a better perspective of what to include and how a woman would react to it.
Lastly, highlight great personality traits such as humor, chivalry, kindness and reliability. All a woman is really looking for, a well-rounded guy that isn’t too much of this or too much of that just be your self, it’s always enough.
Photo by dennis crowley CC BY 2.0